Our lives are enriched by the stories we tell and hear. And just like the treacherous crumbs that led Hansel and his sister, Gretel, to the witch’s cottage in the fairy tale, stories highlight our path from the end to the beginning.
From the dawn of time, we have been taught many things, in our religion, culture, and beliefs. Those ideas are often transmitted in the form of stories and mostly turn out to be the values we live by.
Without proper storytelling, the past, present, and future will not converge. A connection between what is, what was, and what is to come will not exist.
As humans, we rely on stories to assign meaning to situations and that’s why psychologists often emphasize the importance of telling ourselves the stories that really matter.
If for instance, you believe a person hates you and is out to get you for some reason, it’s a story you’ve told yourself and come to accept. The outcome of your experience then depends on how events unfold or how you choose to interact with the said individual.
If you tell yourself a story of vigor and thriving, articulating how you plan to surmount life’s challenges, chances are there that you’d somehow get through.
Here are the reasons we have to tell our stories. Some would definitely resonate with you.
- Stories help to preserve the past, reminding us of our humanity. Our memories aren’t that trustworthy—so it’s best is put them down, in writing or with other mediums. From the beginning of time, humans have told stories in different forms like hieroglyphics, symbols, war chants, tattoos, tribal marks, etc. Our stories help us distinctly identify who we are and what we stand for. It’s quite amazing how much you can learn about a group of people from the kinds of markings they have on their bodies and the stories they hold dear.
- Stories show our growth or lack of it. Just like earlier stated, the stories we tell ourselves help us determine where we currently are in our life’s journey. A deadbeat father for instance, who decides to up and leave his wife and kids for some reason, is driven by a story he tells himself. If later down the line, he opts to reconcile with his family, it’s up to him and the story he chooses to believe.
- Stories help us understand who we are, the road we’ve taken to where we are, and where we could be. Books, art pieces, movies, and other literary forms have been used for centuries to highlight the starting point of journeys. Take John Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress, for instance. It tells a compelling story of a man who literally goes through hell, trying to find himself. And it’s a hero’s journey that has continued to resonate with many from time till now.
- They help us observe similarities between our lives and that of others. I have very often come across social media posts that highlight how similar we are as humans. Someone makes a TikTok about some weird ritual they do at home on family day and you get a thousand and one comments, saying, ‘this is so me.’ Stories help us see how though different we are, under a particular circumstance, we are more likely than not to act in similar ways. We all eat the same, breathe the same, and die the same. Hehe.
- Stories are often told with different mediums. Music, poetry, books, pictures, video games, comics, etc, all have the same soul—a character, a situation, and a subject matter. When we tell our stories through the medium we feel the most connected to, we can reach an audience that can relate, and thus, impact their lives in one way or another.
- Stories help us relieve ourselves from the pressure and pain of our past, perhaps seeing with more clarity and understanding why we did certain things in a certain way at a point in our lives. My memoir, The Girl in The Mirror: How 2020 Became The Year of My Grand Shift, was one such. Penning down my experiences and what my expectations were, helped me identify who I was and who I wanted to be. Good storytelling helps to transform, transcend, and metamorphose the storyteller as well as the reader or listener.
- We write stories to find meaning. Sometimes life comes at us so fast and we are wondering who we are, but good stories help to centre us. Grant Snider, an American writer, and cartoonist points out 9 things that make a great novelist. He starts with childhood trauma, a big one, eh? He then goes on to highlight a miserable job, a moment of self-discovery, a loyal pet, pathological ambition, an episode of debauchery, a neglected spouse, personal demons, and years of boring hard work as other catalysts. I couldn’t agree more, honestly. I really did begin to see the light when I began telling my stories.
- Stories help to shine a light on perceptions—the bedrock of humanity’s decisions. Two people are faced with a similar circumstance and they choose to act differently. You begin to wonder, why this choice and not that? The healing potential of storytelling cannot be overemphasized.
- We learn the context of worry, hate, anxiety, and the art of persuasion through stories. Someone once said fear is learned and hate is taught. We observe something that our mama does, or the stories our grandpa tells us about some taboo or some bad people and we internalize it. Storytelling helps to ensure that some behavior stays perpetuated, and in other cases, becomes resolved.
- Stories, case in point the bible, are written for our examples. We can observe the good, the bad, and the ugly and see how and why certain characters made certain choices. I often advise not swallowing stories whole, but taking the time to sift through the pile, identifying what is logical, intuitive, and empowering, and then choosing what could transform us into better versions of ourselves.
Have you got a story in your gut to tell? Ready to find the release that comes through telling your personal stories? I’d like to help you write that story.
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